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Almost every relationship starts with flirting. The exploration begins.

Because Gene and I met on the phone, we flirted through spoken word. We talked for hours before we had the opportunity to meet face to face, and our flirtatious words helped to raise the anticipation of what it would be like to actually meet. Once we met, flirting became an important and ongoing part of our relationship.

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Today, many new relationship flirtations occur online. It frequently entails long hours spent on the computer.

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During the flirting or exploration phase, we all put our best foot forward, dress and behave to entice. What impact would it have if that flirting and exploration became a part of your relationships two or 30 years later? Imagine what would happen if you suddenly began flirting with your ificant other every day as though you had to win him or her over again.

One of my favorite ways to flirt with Gene is to gently rub his fingers. Gene has huge hands, so I use both of my hands to massage each one of his fingers and then work to his palm. There is something primal about the connection we make through this simple flirting touch.

At random times, hug your ificant other and share three things you love about his or her.

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Ask him or her to do the same to you. Most relationships have conflict at some point. Unchecked conflicts result in a fight. There might be raised voices, certainly raised emotions and even questions about the relationship. Fighting is also influenced by your emotional maturity. Few people fight with the thought of reaching an acceptable solution; you fight to win or have your point of view accepted.

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Most fights boil down to issues in two areas: poor communication or the sense of being disrespected. For example, you plan a barbecue with the family after your ificant other has told you there is a big football game. Poor communication has started a fight.

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Or, if your ificant other makes a large purchase without letting you know, and it compromises the ability to pay the light bill, you feel disrespected. Having a spoken goal also eliminates another pitfall of fighting, which is bringing up old baggage. Going beyond the bounds of the current conflict does not help to reach your goal.

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About four years into my relationship with Gene, I discovered that he is a visual person. I realized that if I had important information to share about anything, communication was best done by or writing the message on a sticky note. Suddenly, communication improved. fighting also became effective.

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fights seldom escalate, and typing forces you to look at your own thoughts and take a minute to analyze if they are working toward your goal. Determine the goal. Stick to the current conflict. No name calling or personal attacks. In my experience, flirting is far more fun than fighting, so I suggest you get your flirt on and make some goose bumps. On average, someone sending out 35 flirtatious als per hour will be approached by four romantic prospects during that time period. To activate the reward center of the brain, hold their gaze for two to three seconds.

Nonromantic glances last only 1.

Studies show that men and women who flirt have more white blood cells in their body. These cells are known to boost immunity and overall health. The majority of conflicts between couples — about 80 percent, according to psychologist Brad Klontz — are unsolvable. This might mean having to compromise or just agreeing to disagree. It takes about 20 minutes for your brain to be able to return to rational thinking.

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Flurt To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures. Fight To engage in a quarrel; argue. The flirt Almost every relationship starts with flirting. The fight Most relationships have conflict at some point. The Facts of Flirting and Fighting On average, someone sending out 35 flirtatious als per hour will be approached by four romantic prospects during that time period.

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