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Millions of people look for love online, but it can be hard to know where to start. But how do we navigate the glut of options available to help us find love? With about 25 million people in the US alone thought to have regularly used dating apps this year, the sea is stocked with fish aplenty — so should we Bumble, Tinder, Happn or perhaps Grindr our way to success? What is it? The most popular and enduring of the first wave of dating apps, Tinder was founded in as a way to help US students meet each other ; in other words, a social network for friendship as well as dating.

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Age: 26
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My hobbies: My hobbies riding a bike

Adapted by Meredith Turits.

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Tinder, the most downloaded dating app in the world, hit three billion swipes in a single day during March — and it's broken that record more than times since then. Although these apps have helped many people connect with other singles for years, some daters have raised alarm bells about the environment they breed. This is especially the case for women, who experience a disproportionate amount of harassment and abuse on the platforms, most often from straight men.

For online daters, women peak at 18 while men peak at 50, study finds. oy.

It hurts. Most of what was happening in that world for me was dismissal — a lot of dismissal, a lot of being made to feel like I was of lesser value.

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These messages proliferate across platforms, and do affect both men and women. But women appear to be disproportionally affected. Data from a Pew Research Center study confirms that many women are experiencing some form of harassment on dating sites and apps. This is even the case for teen girls aged 15 to 17, who report receiving these messages as well.

A Australian study of dating-platform messages revealed that the sexist abuse and harassment does disproportionately affect womentargeted by straight men. Some users also report psychological stress — and even more extreme experiences. And, generally, one study showed cisgender heterosexual and bisexual men seldom expressed concerns about their personal safety while using dating apps, while women had far higher concern. Part of the answer lies in the way these platforms are policed, both by the companies who make them as well as larger governmental structures.

This means detrimental effects for their targeted users — and changing the situation may be an uphill battle.

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Tinder, for instance, has introduced machine learning to detect abusive messages and language, and then ask the writer to reconsider the message before sending it. InBumble introduced AI to blur specific images and require user consent to view them. Some platforms have also introduced user verification, in which the platform matches the photos ed to a profile with a user-provided selfie wherein the user is photographed doing a highly specific action, so the platform can verify the authenticity of the image.

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Many users agree. According to some reports, women receive a higher volume of harassing messages than men Credit: Getty Images.

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One of the biggest user concerns is sexual violence that can occur when users meet up in person. Even though there is an uptick of female dating-app users taking precautions such as charging their phones, or informing family and friends of their plans, daters remain vulnerable to sexual violence. Those findings prompted US lawmakers to investigate in Mayafter which they introduced a bill that would require dating platforms to enforce their rules deed to prevent fraud and abuse. But there's a loophole in American internet law, Section of the Communications Decency Act, which dictates sites can't be held able for harm that comes to third parties through their platforms.

Tinder and 7 more dating apps teens are using

BBC contacted six different online dating apps, but all declined to be interviewed for the piece. Section is controversial — and there are many current calls to update or get rid of it altogether. Many argue the rule, which originated in the s, is outdated as platforms and how people use them have substantially evolved. Many, of course, are finding positive connections — and even lasting relationships.

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But, overall, daters are still using the platforms at their own risk, especially in countries without explicit protections. Beyond legal progress and corporate moves toward safety, there are also cultural changes that can make a difference, and help protect women and other daters on these platforms, both on and offline. Men have to be informed about how their actions are affecting the users with whom they communicate: men dramatically underestimate the impact of their abuse. Ingrained notions about gender roles and an often misogynistic social attitude must be dissolved for larger progress to take place — which also means women need to stop accepting these kinds of interactions as the price of doing businessso to speak.

As for Silver, the abuse was enough.

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She quit the platforms, cold turkey, about two years ago. So, why was I continuing to give them access to me, my life, my time, my money? That was the very first time that I had been able to delete them, and never even feel a small amount of desire to re-download.

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How We Live. The darkest side of online dating. Share using. There are lots of perks to online dating — but it has a worrying dark side that can leave some shaken. Dating apps were popular before the pandemic, but forced isolation caused them to boom.

Newly single? a beginner’s guide to the best dating apps

I was often asked for a sexual favour before someone said hello, before someone told me their actual name — Shani Silver. There are some mechanisms in place to cut down on these problems. Can things get better? Around the BBC.

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When you ask a couple how they met, it's pretty common for them to answer, "On the internet.

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